We all want to be a good catch. We’d all like to have the mother of our future husbands look at us and say “Son, you better not let that one get away, she’s a good catch.” But there’s something that many girls, dare I say most, are missing about that short and simple phrase. The word “catch”.
Dictionary.com describes the meaning of the word catch as: to seize or capture, especially after pursuit: to catch a criminal; to catch a runaway horse.
To be a good catch, one must first be pursued. And you cannot be pursued if you are doing the pursuing.
Girls these days, especially Christian girls, are desperate. When we see a guy who is Godly and sweet and worth our time, we want to latch on to him and prevent him from escaping! But the problem with that is, it’s not our job.
Men do not want to be caught. They don’t want to be latched on to. They may initially seem open to your advances, even to the point of asking you out and dating you for a while, but in making yourself so available you are not being a good catch, you are being easy. Guys will, often times without any conscious decision, go for a girl who makes it easy on them because they don’t want to risk rejection. Just like us, they don’t want to feel unwanted. If a girl is falling all over them, they know they will not be rejected. They don’t have to take that risk. They’re settling. But in time, they get bored. They cannot deny the desire to pursue.
This is why many guys enjoy hunting, sports, video games, wrestling, etc. They want to feel like they have earned what they have. That they worked for it. Deep down, every guy out there wants to win the affections of his lady. And deep down, you cannot deny the desire to be his prize. To have your affections sought out, worked for, and earned. You want him to come after you, and win your heart.
Now, this doesn’t mean you shouldn’t show yourself friendly to a guy you find attractive, a guy you’d like to be pursued by. But don’t be too friendly. Talk to him, but leave the conversation before you run out of things to say. Leave him wanting more. It’s better you talk for 5 minutes and have him thinking “Man, I wish we could’ve talked longer…” then to talk for 20 minutes with him thinking “Wow, she sure can talk… Whew..” Make him curious. Don’t volunteer information about yourself, let him ask for it. If he asks for your number, you don’t have to give it right away. There’s nothing more mysterious and inviting than smiling coyly and saying, “Ask me again next time.” If he doesn’t ask again, clearly he didn’t want it that badly and isn’t willing to put in effort to get to know you. You are worth the pursuit. The man God has for you will see that. He will want it badly enough to seek you out.
I feel the need to devote a paragraph just to this: DO NOT TOUCH HIM. Now, in the college & career group I go to, EVERYONE is a hugger. Guys and girls alike, we all hug each other. And that’s fine. But don’t make a habit of hugging him. Let him come to you if he wants a hug. I see girls running up and hugging, giving shoulder/back rubs and even kissing guys on the cheek that are “just friends”. You are being easy! Make him work for that kind of affection! Even if you aren’t interested in him and are just being friendly, stop. Respect personal space. Just because he seems to like it doesn’t mean you should do it. Now, messing up a guys hair on rare occasion or patting him on the shoulder is one thing, but leave it at that. There is no positive outcome from being super touchy with a guy. And you could possibly become a stumbling block by doing so. Care enough about your brothers in Christ to avoid any situation that could cause him to stumble. Not to mention, guys often find that kind of behavior smothering and overwhelming. You are more likely to push him away and have yourself added to the “Do Not Date” list by acting this way.
Never ever ask a guy out. Let him lead. As a man, he is supposed to initiate a relationship. If he doesn’t lead from the beginning, don’t expect him to be the leader in a marriage. If he isn’t interested in you enough to risk rejection and ask you out, he doesn’t deserve you. I’ll say it again: You are worth the pursuit.
Be mysterious. Make him wonder. Make him want to figure you out.
Yes, I used a Doctor Who reference. I’m a geek okay?
Anyway, all this to say, strive to be a good catch, ladies. And trust God to bring you a man who will take the time and effort to work for it.