I’m reading “And The Bride Wore White” by Dannah Gresh, and I came to a startling realization.
I have not been pure.
I have been physically pure, but I have been emotionally and mentally loose. I have not guarded myself, protected the heart God has given me. I can look back on how I’ve handled myself with guys and can see so many ways that I completely blew it. I wore my heart on my sleeve, giving it away far, far too early. And I didn’t just hurt myself, but those that I care about and love.
I wish so much that I could hop in a time machine and go back, not make all those dumb mistakes and rewrite the past, but I can’t.
God’s plan still continues. I haven’t blown it that badly, He still has a fantastic plan that is going to unfold in my life. Probably in a way I don’t expect! But it still hurts to see the emotional scars I’ve inflicted upon myself and others.
Experience is a brutal teacher, as C.S. Lewis has said. But you learn. I pray that I will not repeat my past mistakes. With God’s help, I’m sure my future will be amazing.