Breakdown

clear my thoughts

 

Today I’ve reached an all time low high. SIX. Six times today (so far!) that I’ve cried about… Something. I cried when the baby beaver on the show I was watching found it’s mommy beaver. I cried when the Vulcan/Human couple on Star Trek finally expressed their feelings for each other and officially became a couple. (Don’t judge me…) I cried while reading old IM conversations I’ve saved and pictures I have on my laptop. I cried before leaving for church because my emotional threshold is like that of a teaspoon right now, and I cried when I was asked if I had any prayer requests while at bible study after church. (Which was in a room full of guys, I loathe crying in front of people, but especially guys.) And lastly, I cried while driving to the store to get veggies because the song on the radio was one that hit me in a very tender spot. Tender as in sore and raw not tender in the positive sense.

At any given time today my hands are shaking slightly. Barely noticeable, but it’s there. One of my good friends after being told all this said “You are not an emotional wreck, you’ve just got too much going on right now. That’s it.” And she’s right. More than the sudden realization of just how bad off my mom is, there’s stress at work as the holiday rush kicks up, and a few other stress areas I prefer not to mention. Any avenues I usually go to for a bit of solace are plagued with stress right now. And the energy it takes to be the happy, bubbly customer service person I have to be at work totally drains the life out of me more than usual.

Desperately in need of hugs. All the time.

 

Anyway… Basically just venting here. Sorry. Carry on with your lives.

 

~TQG

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