#WifeLife Vol. 5 Boudoir and Anniversary’s

My belated gift (since the photo shoot isn’t until after our June 5th one year anniversary!) to Joseph is going to be a small (10 or so pics) photo album of boudoir photos that I’m having taken. Sexy shots in lingerie and such. I’m excited! The girl taking them is someone I’ve known from church years ago who is a professional photographer now and does a lot of boudoir shoots.

I cannot believe we’ve been married 10 months. Totally bizarre. God has been so faithful to us in this first year. Life’s been insane, but He gave us each other, and that has been so wonderful.


Beauty from Ashes

Okay! It’s been an eventful few months. God has been so incredibly faithful. On Dec. 30th, everything exploded with my ex, seen in the last two posts. We can call him “He Who Shall Not Be Named”. And after some time spent just, being hurt and mad and dealing with a lot of self doubt, I decided I would get back out there, as it were. Thinking that it would surely take me months of talking to a lot of “trash” guys before I found anyone worth meeting. Armed with new paranoias, new fears, and new walls guarding my heart, I rejoined the dating app I’d been on, as well as turning on the “dating” feature of Facebook.

As I expected, most of the men who contacted me were pretty much just looking for one night stands (despite the fact that my profiles obviously showed me to not be that kinda girl), or men who thought you simply HAD to have sex with someone to know if you were “compatible”. Few conversations lasted more than a day, if that. I asked a lot of tough, pointed questions and successfully scared off a number of men who were not interested in anything long term or serious.

However. Sometime in early January, maybe the first week of January even? Not sure. I got a message from a guy who seemed… interesting. Joseph. Not like the rest. But, He Who Shall Not Be Named seemed like that too!! So, with much trepidation, I did my very best to scare this one off. I asked a lot of intense questions. I never complimented him, or flirted with him at all, despite his very sweet compliments and respectful flirting towards me. I eventually agreed to meet him for a walk across a local dam. Which went well. I did a lot of listening, answering his questions, but not offering a lot of myself. I invited him to come contra dancing with my a week or so later. Which he gladly agreed to, despite having never done it before. He sent (and continues to do so) a Bible verse and a prayer, each morning, when he got up. Talked to me throughout the day. Sent me cute memes and gifs.

He came to contra, and it went well! He picked it up pretty quickly, and didn’t seem at all phased by the fact that I danced mostly with other men the entire time. Still keeping my distance. Physically and emotionally. But he was growing on me… Though I refused to admit that even to myself.

I invited him to a house concert I was hosting at my dad’s house. Insisting that if he wanted to continue to see me, he had to meet my dad. On the third date. He was understandably nervous, but not at all put off by this request. I told him if that meeting went well, we could have a movie night at my house the following day.

He came, yet again! And talked to my dad, and my stepmom, and her sister, and a lot of other friends and family and acquaintances of mine. While I mostly avoided him. My stepmom kept telling me I should go talk to him, and I kept telling her “I’m still testing him. He’s fine. I’ll talk to him when I’m ready.”

The night went well, I did eventually talk to him some, and we did have the movie night. Which also went well! He asked to hold my hand that night. And I let him. And I had a little moment of panic as I realized that I was very quickly developing feelings for this guy that I’d just met, so soon after going through the worse relationship ever. I made my panic known to him. He handled it very sweetly. Explained that he did not want to scare me off, and that he didn’t want to move too fast and make me feel rushed into anything. That he was happy to go as slow as I needed. After a good nights sleep, I woke up the next day and went to his church with him, feeling less panicked than I had been, and more okay with how things were going.

Since then, a lot has happened. You’d think, it’s been what, not quite a full two months, how can you possibly have moved much farther forward than that? Honestly, it’s a God thing. That’s all I can say. I was on the phone with my stepmom the other day, discussing plans to get engaged and married and find a house, and she says to me “Moriah, it’s amazing how things with He Who Must Not Be Named (yes, she actually calls him that, too) already seem like they happened forever ago. Joseph has just, wiped that slate completely clean, God used him to help heal your heart from that. And I can see how much better you feel about this relationship, there’s no insecurities and no wondering what he’s thinking… I love it. And I’m so happy for you!”

So, what I thought was a very rocky and depressing start to 2020, has become a really exciting and hope-filled time of new life. New dreams. Beauty and love, and learning how to trust again. I cannot wait to walk hand-in-hand with Joseph into the future that God is building for us, together.




Remember my post about being pursued by an amazing man?

Long, twisted, elaborate web of lies and deceit story made short, he was engaged to a lovely woman in the Philippines. He met me on a dating app, pursued me for 3 months, and eventually took advantage of me sexually, telling me he loved me and wanted to marry me, all while engaged to someone else. He took my first kiss. He touched me inappropriately. His fiancée found out about me, and I found out the entire truth when she and I connected and were able to compare notes. Videos of him denying he was with me, while I was in the restaurant waiting for him to return. Messages of him denying me. Screenshots. Voicemails. Video chats. So many lies.

His fiancée and I are friends now. She is precious. We’ve gotten to talk on the phone. God is giving both of us comfort in one another as we try and make sense of the way Philip used us both for his own pleasure.

Let this be a cautionary tale. If the man you’re with hasn’t told his family about you. Never talks on the phone around you, insists on leaving the room to answer. If he tells you he wants to protect your purity, but then does not act that out. Run. He does not love you.


This Guy


This guy I’m seeing. What can I say? He’s pursuing my heart with such gentleness and respect, I can’t recall ever feeling so valuable. It’s lovely. It’s beautiful. It’s still so new and so fresh, I’m looking forward to seeing where it all goes. But as it stands, it’s looking pretty awesome.

Ex-Suitor Appreciation Post!

I know so many people who have been hurt and heartbroken by their past boyfriends or girlfriends. So many who have emotional scars and trust issues, who had put their best out there and been taken advantage of. They have regrets about how their relationships formed, how they ended, the decisions they made along the way. My heart aches for them. Deeply.

Me, I have a different story to share. In June of 2015, three months after beginning a new and intimidating career, and 7 months after losing my mom, I attended a pool party and met this guy named Peter. He would not leave me alone at first. He was driving me crazy. Until eventually he said to me “You’re an introvert, aren’t you? I’ll leave you alone for a bit and come back later when you’re more comfortable.”
That made an impression on me. We traded phone numbers, with the intention of going contra dancing together. We eventually started hanging out, spending a lot of time together. 9 months or so later, he asked me if we could begin courting. And we courted for 6 amazing months. He treated me with such respect, such care. He protected my heart valiantly even when I made that difficult. He raised my standards of what it means to be a man, and what it means to pursue a relationship in a Godly, Biblical way.
No, we didn’t end up getting married. We also never kissed, never slept together, never selfishly sought to satisfy our physical desires at the expense of the other.
We made a commitment early on that we would not allow our courtship to change our friendship, and in September of 2016, when we ended our courtship, we put that commitment truly to the test. Three years have passed, and this man has done nothing but impress me. I’m so glad he’s committed to being single for life because honestly no woman is good enough for him. I’m so blessed to call him my friend, and to have gotten to share my first courtship experience with him.

Whoever my future husband is, he has Peter to thank for so much. I’m a better woman because of my relationship with Peter. I am more prepared to be a wife, a helpmeet, and prayer warrior. I’m less fearful of change, more spontaneous, more adventurous, and more confident. I’m a better communicator, better problem solver, better conflict resolver, because of the experience I had with Peter. Truly, THIS is what Godly courtship is. We grew together so much, and I’m so so blessed that three years post-courtship we are still great friends. To God be the glory. My heart is so full, and I look forward to the day my love story with my husband begins, he better be okay with me having multiple dude friends because I’m not giving them up for anything.

(He dresses weird but I like it…)


One Single Thing (Me)

March 4th, 2018. This is the year I turn 25. The year I wanted to be married by. Had my previous (and only) relationship worked out, I’d be just a few months away from celebrating our one year anniversary. But, alas, here I am. Single, living with an older lady from my church, spending my days working at an eye clinic and going to the gym, primarily.

I gotta be real with you all. I’m frustrated. I’m lonely. I am NOT desperate, ready to fall for any guy who looks my way, however. Quite the opposite. My best friend/man I almost married is still my closest friend and continues to be such a fabulous example of what I desire in a spouse. Just yesterday we were watching a movie and the characters were talking about failed relationships, he turned to me and asked, “Do you consider our courtship a failed relationship?”

No. I don’t. We did everything right, our relationship was and is still healthy, God honoring, and we would have made an amazing couple had we gotten married. The only reason we did not is because he feels called to be single. Our courtship did not end in marriage, but it was not a failure. We both sought God, learned about one another and ourselves, and when it ended, we continued to honor God by maintaining a love and respect for one another that I have not seen between “exes” before.

Because of that, my expectations, hopes, dreams, requirements, and standards for a man have gotten higher. Now that I know there is such a thing as a man who loves Jesus more than me, who loves me selflessly and choses to protect my heart over satisfying his own desires, I cannot and will not settle for less.

And I am frustrated. Because men like that are so rare. Or at least, it appears that way. My heart aches to share life with someone, to have someone to snuggle up in bed with after long day and just be with.

Someone who enjoys going grocery shopping on the weekends and considers that a fun day out together.

Who loves to cook with me, and doesn’t get frustrated with me when I can’t remember what ingredients I just read on the recipe and have to reread it a dozen times.

Someone who knows how important snuggling is to me, and knows that when I’m mad or frustrated with life, cuddles are always the answer.

Someone who randomly starts singing in the car even when he doesn’t remember the real lyrics, and the radio isn’t even on.

Someone who knows more scripture by heart than I do, and doesn’t act superior because of it.

Someone who doesn’t mind me sending him texts throughout the day about inconsequential things that I thought were interesting (That in hindsight aren’t actually that interesting).

Someone who sets boundaries and sticks to them no matter what, honors his commitments, and doesn’t make empty promises.

Someone who knows that showing emotions is a sign of strength, not weakness, and loves people openly without shame.

Someone who calls me beautiful, and loves me for who I am as a person. But also calls me a hot chick, thinks my body is a treasure, something to be respected and appreciated, and refuses to indulge it in until we are married.

Maybe my expectations are too high. But I know one man who meets them. And I’d rather be alone than settle for less.


Japanese Cherry Blossoms

So, it’s been a grand total of forever since I have blogged about… well… Anything. So, allow me to give you a brief update (be aware I did not read my last post and don’t remember what I have or have not already told you all) :

I am 24 now! *gasp* SO OLD.

I live in a house with a roommate and no longer in my childhood home or with my Dad. I have real adult bills like rent and utilities and renters insurance now. Yup. Life.

I am a COA, OSC (Certified Ophthalmic Technician and Ophthalmic Scribe Certified) now, as of Dec. of last year (so I am sure I must have told you this… hopefully.)

I am STILL SINGLE. Or really single now. As I was in a courtship with my best friend, who is still my best friend, who I am still madly in love with, but who has chosen to spend the rest of his life with Jesus and be celibate. (But still my best friend, because friendship should not end just because the courtship didn’t end in marriage, fyi.)

I have made a NEW FRIEND, who has the most awesome testimony ever and I love him dearly, he is super cool. He is an excellent adventure buddy. ^_^ In fairness I’ve known him for quite a while but only recently have gotten to know him really well.

As of Dec 2nd, I am getting my first tattoo! Japanese Cherry Blossoms, which symbolize the beauty and fragility of life, and “Matthew 25:21” beneath them, as a memorial to my mom. November 22 will be three years since she went to spend forever with Jesus. My tattoo artist has been doing her thing for 27 years (longer than I have lived) and is super mega skilled. I am stoked. And terrified. It’ll be great! Pictures to come once it is all healed and ready to be seen by the world.

Let’s see… Anything else? I have an iPhone now. That’s not really news. I joined the cult. I’m sorry. I regret nothing. I am enjoying it. Sorry, Android lovers. I was once one of you, but I have moved on to bigger and better things. 😛

Anyway, guys and gals, I really really am sorry I have left you all hanging. Since my courtship ended, I have had less that really inspired me to blog. Yeah, he’s still my best friend, but it’s hard. There was such a beautiful dream, such a precious love, and it is still there, it just cannot grow into anything else, and that’s hard. Please pray for us. Pray for me, that I am able to move on, and pray for my awesome guy, that he would change his mind and marry me. (Just kidding!!… sort of.) Okay, for real, pray for guidance for him, for clarity, and that both of us will continue to be lead by God into whatever future He has for our lives. And that no matter what happens, we remain close friends. His friendship is so valuable to me.

Alrighty, I must be off. But thanks for reading, and thanks for the prayers.


The Best Is Yet To Come

A lot has happened since my last post…

Chiefly, the friend I went on the “Great Salsa Adventure” with is courting me now. We’ve discussed so many things and spent a lot of time talking over our pet peeves and expectations and opinions on things, it’s been amazing. And now, though he is waiting until June 2017 for God to give him assurance that we are supposed to be married, we are planning on attending pre-marital counseling to see if they can help us figure out if we’ve missed any important topics of discussion.

We take a lot of long walks and mini adventures together, spend many an evening cooking wonderful meals together and watching quirky anime shows and movies I’ve never heard of. We laugh until we can hardly breathe, tease each other, and over-all just have a fantastic time together.

All these years, praying for a Godly man, I never thought God would go so above and beyond my expectations. I feel so honored, respected and loved. And I can’t wait to see what He has in store for us as we continue our adventure together.

For those of you waiting for your knight in shining armor, stop looking. Just let him come. He won’t be what you hope for. He will be far, far greater.

Also, my Dad got remarried, moved in with his new wife, and I am living alone. Trying to find a new place to live so when the house sells, I’m not forced to move in with my stepmom’s house with her two kids. Introvert me does not want live-in siblings. 😛

Anyway, yes. Lots of changes. ^_^