Have an Instagram? Like photography? Then you should totally go like this Instagram page! Not mine, but promoting it for a friend who is very talented. 🙂
All it takes is one good conversation.
Today at work, I found myself in a rarely seen or found place. My comfort zone! Alone in a room with an adult, married, Christian man whilst we both enjoyed our lunch hour. This coworker and I had not previously had an actual conversation, but I have overheard him talk about his wife quite lovingly, and we’re friends on Facebook, which was, combined, enough to make me feel quite comfortable.
Not sure how we got there, but eventually we got to talking about what we had studied in scripture, and he shared what he had been learning about how we are to handle grief and death, which lead to me talking about my mom.
I worked exceptionally hard to keep from crying, and managed, but just barely, as I talked about her and how she passed. But what really struck me what his reaction. He too was working hard not to cry, and I could see the tears welling in his eyes as he just sat and listened. Not many people take time to sit and listen these days. And when they do, it stands out to me. But even more than listen, he was feeling my words as I spoke them. That is a rare and often burdensome gift to bare. I know, because I share it, and it’s one of the reasons I literally can’t get very close with more than a few people at once. I just can’t handle it. I feel what they feel, and I can only feel so much before I burst.
Back to this coworker of mine. Our lunch hour ended, and we both gathered up our emotions and laughed a bit, and went our separate ways to the opposite sides of the building where we work. But the whole thing shed light on a struggle I’ve had just recently as I try to integrate myself into this new church group I’m in.
I’m not actually as bad at communicating as I keep making myself out to be. See, at this last group event I went to, I was the only girl on the speed boat (be jealous. Of the speed boat, not of me being out numbered by attractive guys, because that’s actually just overwhelming and exhausting) and though conversation is not readily required when going 35-60 mph over water dragging people on skis, wake boards or tubes, there are still plenty of moments when it’s really a good idea to say….something…. anything…. like, seriously. And I DID. Several times!! And I did, indeed, speak loud enough to be heard and somewhat acknowledged for having said something. But a conversation is a two way street. I can say as much as I want, but if no one picks up the topic and runs with it, it’s just gunna lay there on the ground and die a slow, awkward death. And my introverted self only has energy for a few well place conversation starters before it’s really up to them to come up with a new one. Don’t get me wrong, in a group setting, I can kill a conversation without even trying! It’s like a super power! I’m speaking of one-on-one conversations here, where I prefer to live.
Now, I did talk to people, and have good conversations. With a girl who later joined the boat, and her husband. I’m noticing that married men seem to be much more capable of conversation… Single guys however… at least, the ones in this group… man.
It only takes one good conversation, just one time when I feel like they are actually interested in talking and listening, and I’ll talk to them pretty easily from that point on. Not totally absent of awkward, but at least halfway capable of forming cohesive sentences. If someone would just take that 10, 15, maybe 20 minutes to get past that initial awkward, I promise, I have something to offer. It may be walled away, but behind the gate is a garden. And the greatest treasure is planted at the very center of that garden– my heart. I don’t mean this just from a romantic standpoint, my heart is who I am, and you don’t really get to see it until you take the time to try. Not saying it’s easy to get to, but it’s totally worth the trouble, and the path through the garden is actually quite nice.
I talked about this to my Dad recently, and he said to me, “The right guy will see that, and he will take the time to get to know you whether you’re awkward or not, he’ll see what’s hidden behind it and want to seek it out.” Man, I sure hope that’s true. Cause right now, it sure doesn’t feel that way.
Please also enjoy this: “Introverts and the inner flame“, a very good little article that relates to mine quite well.
If you saw the previous post, and the POV video from the rollercoaster I rode on Saturday, consider this post “Part Two”!
After leaving Carowinds, we went to a dance hall in Charlotte, for some Contra dance! Contra is a very easy to learn, fun to practice dance– no footwork, just memorizing some terms and listening to the caller. It’s such a fun way to get out of your comfort zone. It makes me feel like I’m in the Pride & Prejudice days. ^_^ This time, there was a guy there who talked to me while we danced, gave me some pointers on how to improve my dancing, taught me a few new moves, and also gave me this bit of advice: “Dear, if a man tries to spin you, but is to lazy to lift his arm high enough that you don’t have to duck, he shouldn’t be spinning you!” Which really amused me. He was an excellent lead. Really understood how to make the lady feel guided and protected throughout the dance. Contra has a LOT of spinning, if your lead isn’t careful, he can literally spin you into a wall, another person, or trip you if he’s not leading well. It’s his job to guide you through the moves and use caution to avoid spinning you off into oblivion! Trust me, it’s happened.
Likewise, I reached a whole new level in my following. It’s taken me such a long time to learn how to relax and follow the leads direction, go where he sends me, stay loose and easy to guide. Yet, be aware of where I’m supposed to be, so that if he does have a moment when he forgets where to send me, I can give him a gentle push in the right direction. Sometimes that means literally grabbing his hand and bringing him with you to the next move, which really doesn’t come naturally to me at all. Maybe being tired and physically exhausted from a long day riding rollercoasters helped me be more relaxed in it all. Whatever the cause, that night was one of the best nights contra dancing I’ve ever had.
No obligation to watch this whole video, but at least watch the first four minutes. This is the actual dance hall I was at! 🙂
Just a quick note, God is doing SO MUCH in my life through my church and the Young Professionals group, working on my heart attitudes. Especially on my opinion of myself. He’s using others to help me appreciate who He created me to be. Showing me what it looks like to let your inner beauty show, and how to like what I see in the mirror. I’m learning to love myself for the first time in so long I can’t even remember. And you can’t properly love others until you learn to truly love yourself, seeing yourself as God sees you: perfect and breathtakingly beautiful. Loving the journey He’s taking me on.
I am so desparate to travel. See more of this big, beautiful world in all it’s majesty. But I don’t want to do it alone. I want to share those experiences with my husband *says the single dateless 21 year old*. I have money put away for it, I have lots of ideas and dreams and hopes all stored away in my head, longing to escape and run wild and free. So many people have told me I should be using my single years to explore, do what I’ve always wanted to do, try new things, travel, etc. But as inviting as that sounds, I want to have those experiences with someone I love. I want to have scrapbooks filled with pictures of us in crazy places doing crazy things, so we can look back at them and laugh at our silly 20-something selves, together.
Maybe I’m missing out on some really grand solo adventures, but I still think they’d be much better with company. 🙂
Lipstick names are so fun, aren’t they?
I don’t wear makeup, unless lipstick counts as makeup, in which case, I wear a tiny bit. I’ve always been afraid, however, to go bold with my color choices. Usually I choose a shade just a hint darker than my natural lip color (which is already a healthy pink), just to brighten things up a bit. But recently I found a coupon for the above “Lip Crayons” on Target’s Cartwheel app, and hesitantly chose “Hawaiian Smolder” as my first color.
Yowzah! Totally fell in love with it, so rich and bold. Plus it made my lips super soft. In light of this, I visited the Burt’s Bees website to see what other colors they had, and found a Lip Shade Finder quiz! Having taken it, I discovered that according to this, my best shade is “Redwood Forest”. Having already planned to try a red sometime soon, and having another, even better coupon to use, I seised the opportunity. I am more excited about lipstick than is normal. But hey, it’s the little things.
Also, I got about an inch and a half of my hair cut off today, because it was so long I was getting it caught in my armpit and in the car door. The ends were frayed and frazzled and I couldn’t get a brush through it. So now it’s a much healthier, more manageable length and it feels SO much better.
Why the talk of healthy hair and lip beauty tips? I dunno. Just feel like sharing I guess. I’ve had a weird week, it was both extremely trying and extremely rewarding. I got to spend some time with some good friends, which I haven’t gotten to do in quite a long time. Most importantly, I’m trying to find a new church to go to. Not that there’s anything wrong with the church I had been attending, but I have never felt really at home there. It’s too big and too full, overwhelming with so many nameless faces. I’m hoping to find a smaller, warmer church that I can get involved in and be of use to. It’s so hard to get started though. Especially when you live in the Bible belt. 😛
Last but not least, I MET MY HEDGEHOG. He is adorable and I think I may name him Rumple. More about him later when I have pictures. ^_^
So, one of my managers at Petsmart has a little side business thing, she is a consultant for Jamberry Nail Wraps, which I’ve tried and really like! Feel free to check her out on Facebook Here and visit her website Here. If you decide to order, and it asks you “Is Sarah *insert weird last name* your consultant?” Click yes. She gets commission that way, and I like her, she deserves commission. She is a cool lady. 🙂
ATTENTION BLOG FOLLOWERS WHO ARE ANIMAL LOVERS:
I have started a blog about my gerbils and gerbil breeding exploits. If you care to, please visit this link and follow that blog. I will be posting cute gerbil photo’s regularly as well as info, tips, and care guidance. Ya never know, you may just end up wanting a pair of gerbils! 🙂
Happy Almost Thanksgiving, guys and gals!
I have been so busy lately that it feels as though time is flying by. But, I am loving my job, it is the perfect fit for me. I look forward to getting there and being able to take quality care of the the little creatures we have. Also, I have decided that I won’t be getting a guinea pig… I’ll be getting TWO guinea pigs. They are social creatures and I’m worried about the one getting lonely when I’m not around. Plus, the cage I’ve decided on is plenty large enough for two to live out their lives happily. Teo, one of the two guineas, is likely to be released from the Quiet Room (aka, the place where we keep any sick animals while we treat them. A quiet, low stress environment) shortly. He’s just finishing up what will hopefully be his last week of meds, and then he’s in the clear! I can tell that he’s gotten bored, as we don’t give toys to the ill animals so as to minimize the spread of germs and keep them calm and restful while they recover. I’m excited to bring him to a fun, interactive home. He gets happy and chirps at me whenever I take him out to give him his meds. (Which are in cherry pulp, he thinks it’s a treat!)
Also, on a totally different note, I have been able to share my faith at length both with coworkers and with a few customers in the short 3 ½ weeks or so that I have been working here! So thrilled. It’s obvious to me that God has put me right where I am meant to be. And that is an awesome feeling.
Anyway, there is a short update for you!
For those Black Friday shoppers, please don’t get trampled.. It’s not worth the savings if you’re dead.
Lastly, HOW IS IT ALMOST CHRISTMAS?!
Brought my Dad to church with me, and then to lunch with the group I usually hangout with. Always enjoy doing that, letting my friends meet my dad and vice versa. Afterwards we went to Petsmart and I got two gerbils, both males. Henry and Oliver. Back in my middle school/high school days, I bred gerbils. So they’re a fun, familiar little pet. They have big personalities.
Last night I became possessed with an idea, one that I need to pray about and meditate on a bit, an idea inspired by a Skype chat I had yesterday with my best friend. Something to do with my future, especially education wise. I’m excited about it.
Beyond that, honestly, I am stressed. Unemployed and sick of job hunting and tired of the workplace drama. I wish I had more money in savings, so I could take a break from it all without worrying about money.
I didn’t get enough sleep last night, woke up at 5:30am and couldn’t get back to sleep. That may be one cause of my current attitude. Even so, I’m struggling so hard with being frustrated over life right now.
I need a word from God right now. I’d love it if He would just tell me what to do.