New Endeavors

Where have. You. Been?! (Any Molly Weasley fans? No? Y’all are lame…)

On a serious note, I’ve been a busy busy camper. In the past few months, I’ve been working towards a new goal. I’ve been a COA & OSC (Certified Ophthalmic Assistant and Ophthalmic Scribe Certified) for 6 1/2 years and, the clinic I work for has been understaffed and poorly managed for the majority of those years. But ever since COVID-19, it has been so so much worse. I have cried almost daily either at work or after work. But I’ve felt so trapped. I don’t like what I hear about other clinics, so I’m afraid to go apply elsewhere. But yet, all my academic achievements so far are in Ophthalmology, so if I want a good paying job, I’ve got to stay in that field. …. Right?

Wrong.

As I’ve been mulling around ideas on how to get OUT of ophthalmology, I began thinking about my mom. For many reasons. My ultimate goal is to be a stay at home mom who makes at least some contribution to the family income, like my mom did. So, how did she do it? She was a Certified Personal Trainer. She made her own schedule and helped people work towards their health and fitness goals, often taking me with her to client meetings/sessions. I grew up in the gym, and I love the gym. Lately I’ve been so overworked that I haven’t been able to go to the gym. Suddenly, it dawned on me.

If I pursue becoming a Certified Personal Trainer, I can get a full time job as a CPT at a gym, work out before or after my client sessions, and still have all the benefits (401k, health/dental/vision insurance, PTO, etc), while doing something I love. And one day when we decide to have kids, I can bring my kid and let them stay in the children’s room, go part time if need be, or find clients independent of the gym and make my own schedule, whichever works best for our family/financial situation.

So, with that revelation, and some talks with my husband, I enrolled in NASM’s CPT program and am so far half way through the online course. It is not easy but I am loving it. I am also enrolled in their Nutrition Coach program, which I’m super excited about because nutrition is fascinating to me.

Currently, after all the craziness that 2020-2021 has put my family through, I have gained a lot of weight. No one would want me as their personal trainer right now. So, as I work towards my certification, I also take the knowledge I’m gaining and apply it to myself. Hopefully, but the time I’m ready to start applying to gyms, I’ll be back much closer to my goal weight.

Prayers, please, for this new adventure. I am SOO excited!!

-TQG

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#WifeLife Vol. 5 Boudoir and Anniversary’s

My belated gift (since the photo shoot isn’t until after our June 5th one year anniversary!) to Joseph is going to be a small (10 or so pics) photo album of boudoir photos that I’m having taken. Sexy shots in lingerie and such. I’m excited! The girl taking them is someone I’ve known from church years ago who is a professional photographer now and does a lot of boudoir shoots.

I cannot believe we’ve been married 10 months. Totally bizarre. God has been so faithful to us in this first year. Life’s been insane, but He gave us each other, and that has been so wonderful.

#WifeLife Vol. 1

Alright y’all. I am now over a month into married life. And I have a few myths to bust, at least myths I believed or was concerned about pre-marriage, and a few tips!

***⚠️ Warning: Talk of sex, in some detail, to follow⚠️ ***  

• Myth #1: Sleeping in the same bed as someone is hard and it takes a while to get used to.
  False. Sleeping with my husband is the best thing ever. We keep our apartment cold so we snuggle up with each other and honestly I don’t know how I ever slept alone.
• Myth #2: The first time you have sex, it’ll be SUPER awkward if you and/or your spouse is a virgin.
  False. Our first time was sweet, passionate, romantic, and extremely hot. We opted not to use a condom the very first time. Now, the first time with a condom was a little awkward because putting it on was weird. 😅
• Myth #3: Condoms make sex feel weird/unnatural.
  Semi-False. Okay. If condoms make sex less enjoyable for one or both of you, you need to try different condoms. We bought variety packs of various brands and here’s my inside scoop: “regular” just smooth condoms don’t feel great for me, but they feel good fo him. Ribbed or studded latex condoms feel good for me, but not so great for him. Non-latex, studded condoms feel good for us both. We found that the “Skyn Extra Studded” ones are our favorites. It does still feel best with nothing. But using condoms does not have to take away from the pleasure, I promise.
• Myth #4: Men always want sex more often than woman.
  False. In our case, at least. I initiate sex more often, and he’s turned me down at least once because he was super tired from working on the farm.
• Myth #5: You’re young, so you don’t need to buy/think about using lube during sex.
  FALSE!!!! Lube is your bff, ladies & gents. Seriously. Girls, sorry for the TMI, but the wetter, the better, and you will not regret adding a little extra. Men, if she’s really feeling good, you will be too. We like “Queen V’s P.S. I lube you”, it’s all natural, condom safe, and vegan. You can get it online.

💍 Tips 💍

• Talk about it. All of it. Everything. Even if it’s awkward. Even if you’re worried about how they may take it. Like something they did? (Washed dishes, cleaned around the house, something special they did/tried during sex felt really good?) Tell them. Didn’t like something they did? (Left dishes out, reorganized something, tried something new during sex that felt kinda ugh?) TELL. THEM. If something feels off, or you feel disconnected or weird about something, talk about it.
• If you have access to a shower large enough, shower together. It doesn’t have to be sexy, because showers are slippery and not super roomy. But just talking about the day and being together in the shower is really relaxing and personally, it makes me feel more bonded to my husband.
• Ask, don’t expect. Don’t assume he’s going to take out the trash because you think he should/that’s “his job”, or that she’s going wash all the laundry because that’s how it was in your house growing up. Ask, and ask nicely! “Hey, could you help me out by taking the trash out/walking the dog/washing some dishes?” And then thank them!
• If there’s a task/chore you’re super OCD about, and you have your special certain way you like it done, maybe make that your job alone. For example, I am a little high maintenance when it comes to the way laundry is done, so I asked Joseph to just leave that entirely to me. You may need to assign chores, if it gets confusing or you step on each other’s toes about things. Joseph and I haven’t had that issue, but I’ve known couples who have.

So, Moriah, you ask, why is your blog titled “Vol. 1”? Because I intend to write a series of these as I get more weeks, months, years, etc of married life under my belt. After all, one month in isn’t much experience! But, you learn and grow with each passing day, and I want to be able to share what I learn with you all!!

Until next time!

~TQG

 

MoJoe Wedding

Just a dream y’all. Enjoy some sneak peaks from our photographer!

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Busy busy busy…

Well well well! Look what we have here! A very dead blog! Gosh, I wonder why?

Perhaps because I’ve neglected it for months… heh. Sorry…

SO, where have I been? I visited Washington, DC & Alexandria, VA for wedding, most recently. Otherwise, I’ve honestly just not had anything to write about. I’ll share what’s been on my mind though.

So, as a 26 year old, single, never-had-her-first-kiss female person who’s never been on a date, I’ve been having a tiny little identity crisis. Trying to reinvent myself some in hopes of attracting a future spouse before I die. (I’m not dramatic at all and I never exaggerate.. Never ever.) So, I’ve been trying to be more confident, go to more dances, spend more time in the gym, eat better, and in general just be more. More what, you ask? No, literally just more. I feel like my identity in the past has been so bland. So, more interesting, more attractive, more adventurous, more social, more… individual? Independent. I’ve lost 10lbs, toned up some, I walk with my shoulders back and head held higher. So far, still very single and no signs of becoming less so. But I do feel better about myself.

So yeah. Just a short update. 😁

Who I’ve Become; A Rant on Self-Love, & a Trip Down Memory Lane

Our world is rather obsessed with self-love at the moment. Be who you are, be authentic, love your flaws, don’t change yourself for the approval of the world.

Those are all rather neutral ideas. But they can easily be abused, I think they need to be updated to fit a more biblical standpoint…

Be who God created you to be, and who He is making you to be.

Love the way God makes up for your flaws. Your flaws allow Him to shine through you.

Change yourself for the approval of God even if that means loosing the approval of the world. Or, rather, let God change you into something He approves of, and don’t worry what the world thinks.

Let God’s love shine authentically through you.

Over the last three-four years, I have gone through some major changes that have helped me realize those things…

November. 22, 2014, my mom passed away at age 47.

March 2015, I began a new career in Ophthalmology.

June 2015, I met Peter, and…

March 2016 …soon after began my first courtship with him, which lead me on many wild and exciting adventures of travel, self-discovery, and fear-facing. Car crashes, long talks about marriage, delved so deeply into who I am with the help of a truly amazing man by my side.

April 2016, my dad got remarried to a really lovely lady who is now, obviously, my stepmom. And I gained two step siblings.

September 2016, Peter broke off our courtship, which was extremely difficult, as the last 6 months of our relationship had gone amazingly and the only reason to end the courtship was that he felt he was meant to live a life of celibacy. A calling he has felt most of his life, but he sought God through our courtship to see if he was meant to marry me. He felt he was not. But we have remained very close friends and still love one another deeply as such.

December 2016, I obtained two certifications in Ophthalmology. OSC & COA.

January 2017, I moved from the house I grew up in into a house with a roommate.

July-ish 2017? I began developing a friendship with Jonathan, a lovely fellow I’ve known as long as I’ve known Peter, but had never really sought to spend one-on-one time with. He’s my adopted little brother now. He’s a gem. I love that guy dearly. ❤️

December 2017, Got my first tattoo. A memorial for my mom.

June 2018, Got my second tattoo, a reminder that Jesus has paid my debit in full and my battle is won by His blood.

And now, here we are, June 30th, 2018, and I am just a day short of one month away from being 25. In among those above dates are countless road trips, hours and hours of laughter, tears, literally thousands of dollars worth of fuel and fast food, moments of fear, moments of joy, dashed hopes and hopes turned into realities, and lots of good music. My heart aches to be able to go back in time and relive the moments of discovery I’ve had over this stretch of time. So many good memories, woven together with so much pain. Growing pains that have lead me to where I am now. Stronger, wiser, more confident, freer than I have ever been.

I still struggle hard sometimes with things. Temptations, fears, laziness, etc. But I love the person God has made me to be. I love the heart he has given me towards certain people and certain struggles, I love the adventures He’s taken me on, I love the risks I’ve taken and the way those risks paid off in my life…

I feel that now, for the first time ever in my life, I can say that I honestly do love myself. Not for what I’ve accomplished, but for what God has accomplished in and through me. I love the way He’s used me to love and provide for people. I love the way He’s dashed all my fears against the rocks and sent me out into the ocean of His love to drown. Dying to who I thought I was, and coming back as someone far, far better than I thought was possible.

As I sit here today in a very weird rocking chair (seriously… it’s strange..) typing this, with my tattoos and my Oklahoma shirt that I got in the airport years ago on my first solo traveling adventure, I cannot wait to see what God’s going to do next. I still have fears, and insecurities, and doubts, but the excitement far outweighs it all.

Anyway, all this to say… Love yourself. But not in the way the world tells you to. Keep going on adventures. Keep being spontaneous. Never stop exploring. And let God lead.

 

 

 

 

Shameless Plug

Have an Instagram? Like photography? Then you should totally go like this Instagram page! Not mine, but promoting it for a friend who is very talented. 🙂 

Click here to see!

One Good Conversation

All it takes is one good conversation.

Today at work, I found myself in a rarely seen or found place. My comfort zone! Alone in a room with an adult, married, Christian man whilst we both enjoyed our lunch hour. This coworker and I had not previously had an actual conversation, but I have overheard him talk about his wife quite lovingly, and we’re friends on Facebook, which was, combined, enough to make me feel quite comfortable.

Not sure how we got there, but eventually we got to talking about what we had studied in scripture, and he shared what he had been learning about how we are to handle grief and death, which lead to me talking about my mom.

I worked exceptionally hard to keep from crying, and managed, but just barely, as I talked about her and how she passed. But what really struck me what his reaction. He too was working hard not to cry, and I could see the tears welling in his eyes as he just sat and listened. Not many people take time to sit and listen these days. And when they do, it stands out to me. But even more than listen, he was feeling my words as I spoke them. That is a rare and often burdensome gift to bare. I know, because I share it, and it’s one of the reasons I literally can’t get very close with more than a few people at once. I just can’t handle it. I feel what they feel, and I can only feel so much before I burst.

Back to this coworker of mine. Our lunch hour ended, and we both gathered up our emotions and laughed a bit, and went our separate ways to the opposite sides of the building where we work. But the whole thing shed light on a struggle I’ve had just recently as I try to integrate myself into this new church group I’m in.

I’m not actually as bad at communicating as I keep making myself out to be. See, at this last group event I went to, I was the only girl on the speed boat (be jealous. Of the speed boat, not of me being out numbered by attractive guys, because that’s actually just overwhelming and exhausting) and though conversation is not readily required when going 35-60 mph over water dragging people on skis, wake boards or tubes, there are still plenty of moments when it’s really a good idea to say….something…. anything…. like, seriously. And I DID. Several times!! And I did, indeed, speak loud enough to be heard and somewhat acknowledged for having said something. But a conversation is a two way street. I can say as much as I want, but if no one picks up the topic and runs with it, it’s just gunna lay there on the ground and die a slow, awkward death. And my introverted self only has energy for a few well place conversation starters before it’s really up to them to come up with a new one. Don’t get me wrong, in a group setting, I can kill a conversation without even trying! It’s like a super power! I’m speaking of one-on-one conversations here, where I prefer to live.

Now, I did talk to people, and have good conversations. With a girl who later joined the boat, and her husband. I’m noticing that married men seem to be much more capable of conversation… Single guys however… at least, the ones in this group… man.

It only takes one good conversation, just one time when I feel like they are actually interested in talking and listening, and I’ll talk to them pretty easily from that point on. Not totally absent of awkward, but at least halfway capable of forming cohesive sentences. If someone would just take that 10, 15, maybe 20 minutes to get past that initial awkward, I promise, I have something to offer. It may be walled away, but behind the gate is a garden. And the greatest treasure is planted at the very center of that garden– my heart. I don’t mean this just from a romantic standpoint, my heart is who I am, and you don’t really get to see it until you take the time to try. Not saying it’s easy to get to, but it’s totally worth the trouble, and the path through the garden is actually quite nice.

I talked about this to my Dad recently, and he said to me, “The right guy will see that, and he will take the time to get to know you whether you’re awkward or not, he’ll see what’s hidden behind it and want to seek it out.” Man, I sure hope that’s true. Cause right now, it sure doesn’t feel that way.

~TQG

Please also enjoy this: “Introverts and the inner flame“, a very good little article that relates to mine quite well.

Dance Gypsies

If you saw the previous post, and the POV video from the rollercoaster I rode on Saturday, consider this post “Part Two”!

After leaving Carowinds, we went to a dance hall in Charlotte, for some Contra dance! Contra is a very easy to learn, fun to practice dance– no footwork, just memorizing some terms and listening to the caller. It’s such a fun way to get out of your comfort zone. It makes me feel like I’m in the Pride & Prejudice days. ^_^ This time, there was a guy there who talked to me while we danced, gave me some pointers on how to improve my dancing, taught me a few new moves, and also gave me this bit of advice: “Dear, if a man tries to spin you, but is to lazy to lift his arm high enough that you don’t have to duck, he shouldn’t be spinning you!” Which really amused me. He was an excellent lead. Really understood how to make the lady feel guided and protected throughout the dance. Contra has a LOT of spinning, if your lead isn’t careful, he can literally spin you into a wall, another person, or trip you if he’s not leading well. It’s his job to guide you through the moves and use caution to avoid spinning you off into oblivion! Trust me, it’s happened.

Likewise, I reached a whole new level in my following. It’s taken me such a long time to learn how to relax and follow the leads direction, go where he sends me, stay loose and easy to guide. Yet, be aware of where I’m supposed to be, so that if he does have a moment when he forgets where to send me, I can give him a gentle push in the right direction. Sometimes that means literally grabbing his hand and bringing him with you to the next move, which really doesn’t come naturally to me at all. Maybe being tired and physically exhausted from a long day riding rollercoasters helped me be more relaxed in it all. Whatever the cause, that night was one of the best nights contra dancing I’ve ever had.

No obligation to watch this whole video, but at least watch the first four minutes. This is the actual dance hall I was at! 🙂

Learning to be Lovely

Just a quick note, God is doing SO MUCH in my life through my church and the Young Professionals group, working on my heart attitudes. Especially on my opinion of myself. He’s using others to help me appreciate who He created me to be. Showing me what it looks like to let your inner beauty show, and how to like what I see in the mirror. I’m learning to love myself for the first time in so long I can’t even remember. And you can’t properly love others until you learn to truly love yourself, seeing yourself as God sees you: perfect and breathtakingly beautiful. Loving the journey He’s taking me on.