Ruth & Boaz

9ad2b9df684def931046ac97e8dc7542.jpg

I’ve been told no less than 3 times this week that I am beautiful. At least 4 times that I have gorgeous hair, and twice that I have a sweet spirit. God knows when I need the reminder.

I’m watching everyone I know, coworkers, friends, family and people I don’t even know getting engaged and married and having kids left and right. People that are younger or not much older than myself. It’s awesome, seeing everyone so happy, pursuing futures with their new spouses. But it’s also kinda hard. I have to keep reminding myself that I would rather be single than with the wrong person, or lower my standards just to get affection.

fb_img_1452730882106.jpg

What I’m looking for is totally worth the wait. I know my creator is thrilled to reveal His plan. He’s got my love story all written out, each step I take traces the lines of His pen. I grow closer each day to the moment when clarity hits. He delights in romance, the joy of learning to love someone completely and fully.

fb_img_1452726539339.jpg

My man is being prepared for me just as I am for him. A man after God’s own heart. Who loves God more than he loves me, and puts God first in all he does.

I studied the book of Ruth again recently, and I have to say, I just adore the love story of Ruth and Boaz. It’s so imperfect.

Tragedy, hard manual labor, long sweaty days in the sun.

A medaling older woman who gives questionable advice requiring Ruth, a woman, to essentially make the first move. (A big deal back then!) She literally tells her, wash yourself, wear your best perfume and clothes, but do not let him see you until he has finished eating and drinking. I don’t know if they were drinking water or wine, but regardless. She’s getting her daughter in law ready to wow an unsuspecting man after a long hard day of work. Sneaky old lady.

But then, Boaz, a kind hearted, honorable man, sees her hard work and blesses her for it. And takes her forwardness with such grace.

“May you be blessed by the Lord, my daughter; this last instance of your loyalty is better than the first; you have not gone after younger men, whether poor or rich. And now, my daughter, do not be afraid. I will do for you all that you ask, for all the assembly of my people know that you are a worthy woman. But now, though it is true that I am a near kinsman, there is another kinsman more closely related than I. Remain this night, and in the morning, if he will act as next-of-kin for you, good; let him do it. If he is not willing to act as next-of-kin for you, then, as the Lord lives, I will. Lie down until the morning.”

So she lay at his feet until morning…

I strongly encourage you to go read this book to get the full picture. There is no question that he liked and was attracted to her, but yet he sought out the course of action that was honorable and in her best interest, all while reassuring her that regardless, she would be taken care of. Even in the way that he asked her to remain for the night rather than go alone back to her home with Naomi.

I also love how when Ruth recounts the story to Naomi the next day, Naomi says “Wait, my daughter, until you learn how the matter turns out, for the man will not rest, but will settle the matter today.”

I get the feeling Ruth was jittery and nervous about what would happen and where she would end up. I can relate with that.

I also like the honest, but very strategic way Boaz poses the idea to this other next of kin. He is totally honest, but it’s clear he is definitely hoping to be the one to redeem Ruth. It’s precious. I can’t help but see in my mind a mature, wise man, talking to this other next-of-kin, his heart pounding, praying under his breath that God bless him with this strong, hard working, worthy woman.

The whole thing is just dripping with raw humanity, and it’s beautiful. It makes my heart smile. God has such a great sense of humor.

I’m not perfect, and I never will be, but I’m hoping and praying I will be a worthy bride to my own Boaz someday.

 

Advertisements

Comfortable Silence

71458049483f9647476a6ea4e18256f8

I love people who can hold their own in a conversation. Who can fill in the gaps that I so often leave. Who can gently draw me out, even when I’m not actively trying to participate. Conversely, I love when those same people can just sit quietly with me and not insist on filling the silence. Knowing when something is worth breaking silence for and when it can just go unsaid. It’s a skill few people possess. Most feel extremely uncomfortable with silence.

58c5d151cc575389f39a283c23815e43

After writing the above portion of this post, I went and had thanksgiving “dinner” (it was lunch, but whatever) with some good friends of ours, then went and walked about 2 miles on a local dam, came home and did some housework while listening to music from an app that recently appeared on my Android after an update, it’s called “Milk Music”. Pretty neat little app. It lead to the discovery of a song called “One” by Ed Sheeran.

“And all my friends have gone to find
Another place to let their hearts collide
Just promise me, you’ll always be a friend
‘Cause you are the only one.”

The whole song is quite good, but those lyrics particularly spoke to the way I feel sometimes. Like I have to ask for assurance from the people I truly call friends. Assurance that they aren’t going to find a reason to leave me behind. I guess there is no way to truly guarantee it, but love is worth that risk.

On another note, this Sunday I have my interview to become a member at my church. So thrilled to have found a church family that I want to become apart of. That I enjoy actively being apart of. Such a blessing. God is good.

Happy Thanksgiving, from TQG 🙂

Crazy little thing called Life

Today, classic Moriah moment, I have used my day off to take my dog to the vet, go grocery shopping (yay, sushi!) and watch old episodes of a show that I mainly like because one of the male characters has really amazing eyes. Okay, that’s not literally the main reason I like it, but it’s definitely a perk.

Quick movie recommendation for you though! Last night I went to see “Old Fashioned”. Despite the fact that this movie is perfect for conservative people who love love stories and desire to honor God with their entertainment choices, it’s suffered from an extreme case of under-advertizment, so few have heard of it. But it’s definitely a movie you should spend your time and money on.

Cons: Obviously low budget, starts off a bit cheesy, the actors are a bit wooden with their lines at first and you’ll probably find that there’s a lot of awkwardness that you can’t quite place.

 

Pros: I figured out the cause of this, however. In most movies and TV shows, the lines are delivered so perfectly, spaced so evenly, that there is literally none of what you actually get in real life human interactions. Such as pausing for thought, deciding what to say, missing a word or just saying something that doesn’t really come out smoothly. And any “awkward” silences are often filled with some sort of subtle background music or distraction to draw attention away from the moment of silence. This movie is not like that. The more I thought about it, I realized that this movie felt awkward because you never spend 2 hours just watching people talk, without also thinking about how to contribute to the conversation. This movie was literally like watching real people have real conversations. All the awkwardness of actual human interaction still intact and untampered with. And it made me smile. It made me feel more human.
Also, super adorable love story. Free spirited girl learns what it’s like to be truly loved and respected, uptight man learns to accept forgiveness from his past, and to open himself up to experiencing life at it’s fullest (without compromising his desire to honor God).

So yeah, go see the movie. Get a whole group together to go see the movie! Take your whole church to see the movie. Something like that. 🙂

On a totally unrelated note, I learned a valuable lesson this week. You cannot be everyones friend. Oh, how I’ve tried. But no matter what lengths you go to, some people cannot accept real friendship.

Real friendship isn’t just going out for coffee and having fun together. Sometimes it’s calling them up in the middle of the night crying and needing prayer. Sometimes it’s confronting them about something they’re doing that’s damaging to themselves or others, telling them a truth they’d rather not hear about themselves. In a true friendship, you soften each others rough edges, bear one another’s burdens, and lean on one another as you journey through this wild ride called life. Being in a friendship with someone should make you a better person. It should make you more like Christ.

9d93be66102fbd7ffb37380e244a2e3a

 

And not everyone will let you be a friend. Some people are happy to have fun with you, bear (some) of your burdens with you, call you up crying and needing advice, even correct you when you need it. But the moment you see a genuine problem and try to do the same, even in a loving manner, they throw up their arms and claim you aren’t really a true friend because you aren’t “accepting them for who they are”.

We all have that tendency, it’s part of being human. Odds are we will all have that reaction from time to time. But when that reaction is the only response you get, there is a serious problem. One sided friendship is not friendship. And it is damaging to remain in a that kind of relationship long term.

That’s something I’ve always struggled with, and until recently I’ve never been able to make that decision to finally let go and move on. And even though it’s sad, it’s also freeing. You don’t realize how much the negativity of others brings you down until that negativity is gone. It’s a kind of maturity that I’m so glad God is creating within me. Honestly, with everything I’ve been through in the last 6 months, I’m finding it easier to open myself up to God and let him unshackle me from the things that have been holding me back. Pain has a way of doing that to a person, if you let it.

b3d1d5ecb122a7a111beab2491689b3e

Anyway, I’m about to head out for a long walk, and my laptop is telling me it’s got %12 battery remaining. But that’s what’s going on with me. 🙂

~TQG

Pslams, Mount Zion, and 1 Corinthians 3:16

Great is the Lord and greatly to be praised

in the city of our God.

His holy mountain, beautiful in elevation,

Mount Zion, in the far north,

the city of the great King.

~Psalm 48 1-2 (NRSV)

Do you not know that you are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in you?

~1 Corinthians 3:16 (NRSV)

Today in my reading I camped in Psalm 48 for a while. Verses one and two caught my eye. Though this verse talks about Mt. Zion, I am named after another Mountain, Mt. Moriah. As I was thinking about the description of Mt. Zion, 1 Cor. 3:16 came to mind. It felt as though God was giving me a hug and saying “You are my temple, my beautiful daughter, in whom I delight. You are covered by my grace, I see you as lovely, I cherish you.” It’s a reminder I definitely needed. God is awesome.

For The Way She Thought

10520442_743287182381004_5972497460529291676_n

I found this photo on Facebook and thought it was lovely. I hope one day someone will think that way about me.

Been a while since I’ve posted anything, so let me give you all an update on all the cool things that are happening to me!

Firstly, my best female friend, (@kafaylee on Twitter & Instagram) is engaged to her super cool boyfriend Isaac, and she’s asked me to be her Maid of Honor! So in May of next year I’ll be heading up to Washington state (which is literally the other side of the US from me) for the wedding! SO EXCITED.

maidofhonorAnnnddd, that is pretty much it as far as fun exciting news goes. I’m turning 21 on the 29th of this month, so that’s coolish.
Also, I faced my biggest fear (needles) without the help of a “chill pill” this last week. Once when I was younger I had a pretty horrific experience at the hospital with needles, and every since then I’ve had to be given some kind of relaxation drug prior to anything that required needles. Pretty pleased with myself that I didn’t need that this time. 🙂

I’ve been working a lot (very much enjoying my job at Petsmart) and I’m looking for a place to take vocal lessons. No idea if I’m any good, but maybe I can be, who knows. I think it would help me get out of my shell.

I purchased my first “Smart phone” recently, and I have to say I understand why everyone is so infatuated with them. They are pretty darn cool. I’m terrified of using up all my data though, so I keep my data turned off most of the time and just run on wifi.

Am I boring you yet? Cause I’m boring myself! Off to take a shower!

TTFN,
TQG 

We All Have Our Vices

I am one of the (many) girls who has random and very sudden attacks of the “why am I single, does no one want me” blues. Been suffering from that for a few days now. So naturally I did the most logical thing you can do when in this situation…

I did my nails. (with awesome nail wraps that I got from my manager whom I work with. Check out her stuff: Here)

Then I waxed my legs. With a kit that costs $8… I do not recommend this at all. Please don’t. If you want your legs waxed just pay to have it done, it’s a lot less… awful.

Then I used the same nail wraps to do my toes.

I went shopping, but I didn’t buy anything! Except Annie’s gluten free Alfredo mix!

And lastly, I watched “Frozen”, because Olaf makes me happy.

For some reason, making myself feel more girly and pretty makes me feel better.

Oddly enough, I did actually almost get asked out while at work the other day, but when I told the guy I was looking for someone who would lead me closer to Christ, he gracefully bowed out and left.

Also, I wore one of my Doctor Who shirts to pick up a print order I had at Staples and it started a very fun conversation with a very nice, pretty attractive guy who works there. Though he was quite possibly a bit older than me. And I think he thought I was weird. I was picking up a gerbil poster. Apparently girls who have gerbils are weird. I dunno. Whatever.

As semi-encouraging as those kind of things are, it’s not just my ability to attract a guy that gets me down. It’s the extreme shortage of guys worth attracting that sits in the back of my head and festers. How do you even find one? And if you do, what if he doesn’t even like you back?

I don’t know. But that’s where I am currently. And I have pretty nails to prove it.

A Dream Fund

Only a couple people currently know this, but I have a separate savings fund in my bank account called “Special Trip Savings”. Originally I titled it “Honeymoon Savings”, but it made me sad whenever I saw it, since I can’t actually see progress in the marriage department of my life.

It started out with just $40 in it, but in just over two years of adding between $20-$60 bucks per pay check, it is at just over $700. And I’m still at a loss as to what to do with it. I have another savings fund which I’ve used for car issues, college and occasionally for holiday money, and it has a good bit more in it, so I don’t need to worry about saving this for emergencies. But do I still save it for my honeymoon?

Another fact: I’ve dreamed for quite a while now of visiting New Zealand. But I really don’t want to go alone. Half the fun of an adventure is sharing it with someone else. So I’ve thought that maybe, possibly, I could go with my husband. Someday…. And we’d need money for that. A good bit of money. Yet it just seems so far off and unlikely to me that I wonder if I’m just day dreaming. Maybe it’s all a romantic fairy tale in my head and won’t actually happen. Maybe one day I’ll be 30 and still single and forced to use the money to pay rent–since I can’t be so ridiculous as to think I can just live with my parents forever. Though living alone just seems… terrifying. I hate being alone with a passion. Occasionally I like a little bit of time alone, but to live alone, to have no one to come home to, to tell of the details of my day, or sit and chat with—that just seems like a nightmare.

I’m in a bit of a paradox when I say that, being that I don’t spend much time cultivating my social life. Though I spend a great deal of time and energy on being a good example and upholding my standards at work, the rest of the time I spend in books, or with my critters, and little time with like-minded people. Probably because I meet very few truly like-minded people. And I’ve been sick at least once a month lately for reasons I wish I knew, so that leads to a lot of time at home on the couch watching Doctor Who and depleting the worlds tissue supply. Fun. 

Maybe I just think way too much, and need to just shut my mind up. That is always a possibility.

Is Marriage…okay?

Safari Desktop Picture

For years I’ve read countless books on singleness, marriage, love, relationships, sex, etc, trying to mature my views and my heart as to what God asks of me, and to make sense of the ache in my heart. What I’ve found is that Genesis has the simplest answer to all of my questions.

“The LORD God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.’

So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.”

Genesis 2:18, 21-23

I put in bold the wording that really stands out to me.

Even in perfect unity with God, Adam’s relational status was not deemed “good” by the Creator until he had Eve.

There are those called to remain single, but honestly, that is (and should be) very few of us. We were not designed for it, plain and simple. And not just because we have a sex drive. It has very little to do with that. Marriage is one of the strongest forces on earth, capable of humbling us, teaching us selfless, righteous love. Marriage isn’t to make you happy, it is to make you holy. It is true that you should learn to be happy in your singleness and focus on Christ, but I wouldn’t go so far as to say you must be content in your singleness. It’s a nearly impossible goal. God didn’t expect Adam to be content without Eve. And that wasn’t because he “couldn’t control himself sexually”. After all, there was no sin, and until the creation of Eve, the thought of sex wouldn’t have entered his mind. He didn’t even know what a woman would look like.

We need companionship. The kind that connects us at the soul level, which is something that only marriage can truly bring. To be fully and completely known by another human and loved anyway is one of God’s most amazing gifts.

Secular culture is screaming at us that we can sleep with whomever we want to and do whatever we want to.

I’ve noticed the Christian trend is often saying we ought to remain single if we can “control ourselves”.

Extremes are not the answer. We are designed to be tied together by Christ with one person and through that relationship, God will smooth our rough edges, teach us how to truly love, and as a team the three of you (Yourself, your spouse and Christ) can accomplish amazing things for His Kingdom.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.

~Ephesians 5:25-27

The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the LORD.

~Proverbs 18:22

A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.

~Proverbs 12:4

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.

~Ephesians 5:31-32

The Bible is packed with verses about marriage, speaking about it’s benefits, spiritually, mentally, physically and emotionally. Why we’ve taken one section in 1 Corinthians 7 and made it into this false ideal. Paul was given a very unique calling in which he couldn’t have been married. His purpose on this earth was fantastic, but full of pain and strife that a marriage just didn’t fit. God is merciful. Paul was given the gift of singleness (read “He no longer had a strong desire for a marriage relationship). Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7:1-9:

Now for the matters you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. I say this as a concession, not as a command. I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.

Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

(Note: “Widows” in that era were women no longer of childbearing age whose husbands died and were given the job of guiding younger women and being prayer warriors for the church. They had a very important roll in the church family. However, girls widowed while young were not to be cared for by the church, but were to remarry. If you doubt this, do some research about Hebrew culture at this time.)

Later in verses 25-40 he explains his view on this further, and a if you remember to read this in context with what was happening to the Christian church at the time, you will begin to see a new perspective. He begins with this:

Now about virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I give a judgment as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy. Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for a man to remain as he is.

When you look back historically, the church was under attack. Christian men and women were in the midst of a different era. If you couldn’t control your lust, then get married, otherwise spread God’s word and try not to get martyred. Not a quote obviously, but that’s basically what it boils down to. If a man is asked to denounce Christ or be burnt at the stake, he can take that upon himself and ask God for the strength to hold out. But if a man is told to renounce Christ or watch his wife be burned… That is a whole different level of pain.

Paul mentions that a married man or woman’s interests are divided between God and their spouse, and that is true. However, living in such a way that you love your spouse with a Christlike love is one of the best ways to grow in righteousness. Concerning yourself with your spouses well being humbles you. Loving your spouse is a ministry. Not just to their heart, but in the hearts of those who see this love being played out. Learning to appreciate God’s design of your spouse is an experience of worship.

When I read 1 Corinthians 7, I see a highly misunderstood letter that is filled with wisdom primarily directed at those who originally received it. The church members in Corinth. It must be understood in the context of it’s time. Not that it doesn’t have merit now, those rare few who are given the gift of “singleness” (read, the gift of a lessened desire for a spouse) are more free to focus on certain aspects of God’s Kingdom. A different part of the Kingdom than that which married couples are to tackle together with team work.

If you desire a spouse, but are currently single, odds are some well meaning friend has said to you, “Maybe you are called to/been given the gift of singleness.” Noo. The “gift of singleness” isn’t that you can’t seem to get a date and thus will be single for life. It’s that your desire for a spouse is lessened by God and replaced with a stronger desire for and contentment in Him alone.

Desiring a spouse doesn’t mean God “isn’t enough”, it means God’s plan is  meant to be fully realized by the connection and humility you will gain by having a spouse.

I’ve written two other blogs similar to this, feel free to check them out.

Ministry or Marriage?

I’m Looking For Someone To Share In An Adventure