Rise With The Sun

Have you ever noticed that some of the best adventures start at ungodly hours in the morning? There seems to be something special about getting up at or just before the sun comes up that just makes an adventure official. At least to me.

Tomorrow I have to get up at 5ish… Maybe even 4:45, just to make sure I have time to eat and get to the church in time to meet my travel companions and leave by 6. We’re going to Asheville, NC to visit a Church there. (I’ve mentioned this before on my blog, I think.) Super excited!

After that, I have to arrive at VBS by 8am every morning until Friday.  So, not gonna be doing my usual stay-up-till-1am-get-up-after-10am thing. Which is probably good.

Also, I just applied for a job working at the day care for a local church. They have some really good opportunities there for further education and personal growth, and I’m really hoping I’ll get the job. A friend of mine who works there says they really liked me when I came by to fill out the application, and I have an interview on Tuesday. Definitely something to be praying about.

So, that being said, my week is going to be pretty packed, so I apologize in advance if I end up slacking off a bit on the blog. But I will probably post updates about VBS and such.

Hope all of you are having a great weekend and lovely week to come!

~TQG

Ps. I’ve decided that the best way to do grocery shopping is to go alone, buy at least two heavy things (milk, for example), shop at Publix, and go to a line with a bagger who is close to my age. They will almost always offer to carry the groceries to your car and then load them for you. It’s much more enjoyable that way.

Stages

Having just applied some tangerine lip balm, and wearing a super soft tank top misted with Bath & Body Work’s “Sweet Pea”, I am feeling pretty darn girly. Which makes me happy.

This is a big change for me from, oh, 5ish years ago (age 12-15, roughly). I used to flee from all things I deemed “too girly” unless my friends, which I idolized, or a boy I liked thought I should wear or do otherwise. Beyond having bad influences at that age, I was very concerned with appearing weak. I saw dressing up, doing anything besides a pony tail with my hair or anything of that sort as weakness. I wore jeans and a baggy t-shirt to hide the extra pounds I had, and kept my hair out of the way. I acted strong, confident, and blunt most of the time. I never let guys be gentlemen. I could open the door myself, darn it! I could carry my own suitcase!

I’m not entirely sure when I realized that embracing who I am as a woman was something I needed to do. When I decided that being feminine wasn’t a weakness, but actually a strength! A gentler strength than the one that you find in masculinity. A softer strength. I think it was after I lost weight, and started liking my body. I begun to spend more–but not too much–time on my appearance. Giving my hair some style, even if it’s just layered and wavy. Dressing in such a way that shows off my curves a bit, and has a feminine flair.

I didn’t realize until recently that all the years when I was younger, from about 11-14, that I think of as my “outgoing years”, where actually years of hiding myself. Hiding behind the pretense of strength and false confidence. I didn’t really feel confident, which is why I clung to tightly to the expectations of my “friends”. I looked to them to define me. What should I wear? How should I act? I may have been friendly and outgoing, but inside I was searching for someone who could tell me who I was.

And after they all failed me, I switched to a different form of hiding. A hiding within myself. I looked for my identity in books and in being a loner. Praise God I was lead to some very Godly books that re-awakened a passion for Jesus in my heart, and helped me reevaluate my method for making and keeping friends.

Now, I can’t help but wonder… What “stage” am I in now, and what comes after this? Right now I am pretty happy with myself. I like how I look, I’m healthy, I’m beginning to regain my social life with some really great, Godly people. And God is slowly but surely teaching me how to find my worth and value in Him alone. But I still have this deep desire, this longing for a partner. A spouse. Biblically speaking, from what I have found in my own personal study of Scripture, that is normal, and okay, and there’s nothing wrong with having that desire.

But I gotta say, it’s driving me kinda mad. Every where I go I see couples holding hands and walking around together and it’s like “Ohh…. I’d like that..” and I have several female friends who are 19-27, just as single as they can be, feeling exactly the same way. And I’m pretty sure we’re all wondering… Where the heck are all the Godly men looking for wives?! Every time I meet one, they always introduce me to their girlfriends while we’re talking. Maybe I should meet for lunch with one of these girlfriends and ask them, “Where can I find a single one of those?”

I have a couple of very sweet encouraging friends who are always telling me, “Don’t worry, God will bring the right man into your life.” and I can’t help but think of my mid-to-late twenties friends and reply “While I’m still young?”

So, I guess perhaps that is the stage I’m in. The “I’m happy with who I am, now can I please have a husband?” stage.

Ugh… I’m ready for it to pass already.

 

~TQG

Ps. To those of you who have the whole “You have to be happy with just Christ before you’ll be happy in a relationship” motto. I am content with Christ. However, just like Adam in the garden before the Fall was in need of a partner, so am I. I was created as Adams ezer kenegdo (I recommend reading “Captivating” by John & Stasi Eldridge to get full understanding of what that means, google isn’t very insightful) and though I don’t need a man, God has given me a great desire for one. And I do not believe that such desires that are Biblical and pure are ones that He will leave unfulfilled.

Hopeful Orchids

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For Mother’s Day, my mom wanted plants, so my Dad and I went plant shopping today.

While we were there, I looked at the Orchids. I love Orchids. I’ve always wanted some, particularly the mini ones in the above color. So pretty. They’re apparently very difficult to keep alive, but I am willing to take the risk. However, I’ve decided I’m not going to buy myself any. I’m going to wait. Eventually, if some guy starts pursuing me, it won’t be that difficult to find out how much I like these, and he can get me some. They’ll mean a lot more to me from him anyway.

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I’ve never seen them in blue before. They’re very pretty, but I think I still like that dark pink…

Anyway, that was a random ramble post about Orchids. I realize it’s strange. But hey, pretty pictures!

 

~TQG

An Off Day

So, today I spent most of the day feeling like a zombie. But, in effort to do something more than just doze on the couch, I dressed up a little and went to the mall.

Just FYI, no one goes to the mall on Monday. It was dead in there. I walked the whole mall with one mission: Find a pair of earrings that go well with my Hobbit necklace. Which I did, two little dangling arrows. For $3.

Then I went to Walmart, to pick-up some stuff for my folks and get more of my face scrub, and decided to get some really nice smelling shower gel too. All in all, only about $11.87 spent on “retail therapy”.  So I’d say that’s a success.

Listening to the radio, I heard two songs I already knew that hit me in the right spot today:

Tomorrow I will post more good quotes and less boring stuff, promise!

~TQG

 

A Fortune Cookie, Minus the Cookie

So, today I went out to a frozen yogurt place with a friend of mine who is super uplifting and awesome. And while we were out, I suddenly realized I was sitting on the edge of a tiny piece of paper. It was the fortune from a fortune cooke. It said:

People are waiting for cues from you. Lead them well.

Now… I don’t believe in fortune telling, even in cookie form, but this is pretty weird, guys. I dunno. I know it’s just a piece of paper that fell out of someones pocket, but it’s still pretty dang weird. So I kept it… I think I’ll tape it to the inside of my journal, just for fun. Who knows.

That’s all for now, folks. I got a skype date to get to!

~TQG

Ma’am vs. Miss

I’ve realized something rather odd lately since I’ve started working at a place with primarily male customers. There are several types of guys: When it comes to older men, there’s the polite, sweet ones who call me sweetie, hun or “little lady”, and the icky ones who call me baby or chick. Then there’s the younger guys, less bold, who generally call me ma’am. (That’s the South for ya.) I don’t mind being called ma’am so much, though it does make me feel kind of old. But recently I had four or so guys call me “miss” in one day. As in “Hello, miss, how’re you?” and even though it’s very polite, and unlike ma’am, does not make me feel old, it somehow feels even weirder than ma’am. Perhaps just because it’s so foreign to me that it just sounds wrong.

Perhaps I’m being picky. Really, I don’t know what I’d like them to refer to me as. I am wearing a name tag, after all. The few that do call me by name are usually my favorites.

And why is it that it’s nearly always the older men who flirt with me? Clearly they can see they’re old enough to be my grandfather… Have they just grown to enjoy making young women feel awkward? Or have they simply lost all capacity for feeling embarrassed or ashamed by their forwardness? I’ve literally had an 80 year old man say to his friend quite loudly “Lets go to that line, no, the one with that fine lookin’ lady!” I’m sorry, but…. That’s just all kinds of creepy right there. Seriously. Ew.

That being said, I suppose I should head to the gym now to insure I stay a “fine lookin’ lady”. :/

~TQG

Health Nuts Get To Have Fun!

Went shopping at Target today to get some time to myself and spend just a little of my hard earned money on something fun.

I have a rule about clothes shopping; for every “fashion” item I get (as in shirts, pants, dresses, or skirts), I donate or give away one or two things that I don’t wear very often. Usually things that I don’t wear because they don’t fit anymore. (Generally because they’re from before I found out about my wheat {or gluten} allergy, when I was about 30lbs heavier.) So, when I arrived home today, I dug through my closet and found four things to give away. Replacing them with the two items I got today: a blue maxi dress and a blue tank top with lace.

Back when I was overweight, I hated shopping. I could never find things that fit and looked good. I wore mostly jeans and oversized t-shirts to hide my figure as best I could. I struggled a lot with emotional eating back then, the only exercise I got was occasional yoga classes. When I discovered my wheat allergy, I had to completely change my diet.  So I decided, hey, I’m already turning my diet around in one way, why not take this chance to clean it up completely? So I did. I changed up my whole lifestyle, I started working out three times a week at home, and when I was old enough, joined a gym. I lift weights mostly, doing only 20mins of cardio twice a week (either on the bike or elliptical). With weightlifting, you gain muscle weight while you loose fat. Muscle is much denser and therefore heavier than fat. So though the scale shows that I’ve lost 30-33lbs, It’s actually more like 40 or 45. I went from a size 18 to a size 12-14. And the joint pain I used to have went away.

Now I enjoy shopping, it’s easy to find things that fit, and I like dressing in figure flattering, feminine outfits. I still workout three times a week, and I still eat a very clean diet, though I am not so strict that I don’t eat things I enjoy.

“Why are you rambling on about all this?” You ask? Well, I’m advocating a healthy lifestyle. Whether you need to loose weight, want to build lean muscle, or just want to feel better, eating cleanly and working out is an amazing way to boost self-esteem and feel better about yourself. I see so many women complain about their weight and then go to the break room and eat donuts, honey buns and candy. In my opinion, if you aren’t going to do the necessary things in order to be healthy, you have no right to complain about being unhealthy.

Getting healthy takes a lot of time. I started changing my lifestyle back in 2009, and at first the only change was feeling less bloated. Don’t go into it for a quick fix. It isn’t a diet. It’s a lifestyle change. It’s not temporary, you must keep it up, you have to do it for the rest of of your life. But it is totally worth it.

Think about it. 🙂

~TQG

Purple Pants

I'm in the purple, my friend Tori in the green.

I’m in the purple, my friend Tori in the green.

I went on a coffee date at Starbucks with a friend of mine who I don’t get to see a whole lot. She’s probably one of the most positive and encouraging lady’s I know. She’s suffering from a serious health problem that makes her lose weight drastically and saps her energy. She’s struggling hard, yet is the most joyful person I know. She inspires me. 🙂

For The Ladies

This is what the suit looks like on a non-model! haha. It's me, but I cut off my head. It didn't even hurt.

This is what the suit looks like on a non-model! haha. It’s me, but I cut off my head. It didn’t even hurt.

Last summer, my dear friend got a super cute bathing suit that I really liked. Very retro/Marilyn Monroe yet also quite modest. I’ve been looking for it ever since in stores, but was never able to find anything quite like it. Well, today I found it!! I wanted to share it with you, my lady readers. It’s a great choice if you want to have a modest, but still super hot bathing suit. Click Here to see more about it!