#WifeLife Vol. 5 Boudoir and Anniversary’s

My belated gift (since the photo shoot isn’t until after our June 5th one year anniversary!) to Joseph is going to be a small (10 or so pics) photo album of boudoir photos that I’m having taken. Sexy shots in lingerie and such. I’m excited! The girl taking them is someone I’ve known from church years ago who is a professional photographer now and does a lot of boudoir shoots.

I cannot believe we’ve been married 10 months. Totally bizarre. God has been so faithful to us in this first year. Life’s been insane, but He gave us each other, and that has been so wonderful.

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It’s Beginning Look A Lot Like Christmas! #WifeLife Vol. 5

We had our Christmas photos taken!

Jessie was a spaz the whole time but somehow she still looks epically photogenic.

I ordered my Christmas cards and I am so excited to send them out!! 🎄😁 Married life really is the best.

MoJoe Wedding

Just a dream y’all. Enjoy some sneak peaks from our photographer!

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Beauty from Ashes

Okay! It’s been an eventful few months. God has been so incredibly faithful. On Dec. 30th, everything exploded with my ex, seen in the last two posts. We can call him “He Who Shall Not Be Named”. And after some time spent just, being hurt and mad and dealing with a lot of self doubt, I decided I would get back out there, as it were. Thinking that it would surely take me months of talking to a lot of “trash” guys before I found anyone worth meeting. Armed with new paranoias, new fears, and new walls guarding my heart, I rejoined the dating app I’d been on, as well as turning on the “dating” feature of Facebook.

As I expected, most of the men who contacted me were pretty much just looking for one night stands (despite the fact that my profiles obviously showed me to not be that kinda girl), or men who thought you simply HAD to have sex with someone to know if you were “compatible”. Few conversations lasted more than a day, if that. I asked a lot of tough, pointed questions and successfully scared off a number of men who were not interested in anything long term or serious.

However. Sometime in early January, maybe the first week of January even? Not sure. I got a message from a guy who seemed… interesting. Joseph. Not like the rest. But, He Who Shall Not Be Named seemed like that too!! So, with much trepidation, I did my very best to scare this one off. I asked a lot of intense questions. I never complimented him, or flirted with him at all, despite his very sweet compliments and respectful flirting towards me. I eventually agreed to meet him for a walk across a local dam. Which went well. I did a lot of listening, answering his questions, but not offering a lot of myself. I invited him to come contra dancing with my a week or so later. Which he gladly agreed to, despite having never done it before. He sent (and continues to do so) a Bible verse and a prayer, each morning, when he got up. Talked to me throughout the day. Sent me cute memes and gifs.

He came to contra, and it went well! He picked it up pretty quickly, and didn’t seem at all phased by the fact that I danced mostly with other men the entire time. Still keeping my distance. Physically and emotionally. But he was growing on me… Though I refused to admit that even to myself.

I invited him to a house concert I was hosting at my dad’s house. Insisting that if he wanted to continue to see me, he had to meet my dad. On the third date. He was understandably nervous, but not at all put off by this request. I told him if that meeting went well, we could have a movie night at my house the following day.

He came, yet again! And talked to my dad, and my stepmom, and her sister, and a lot of other friends and family and acquaintances of mine. While I mostly avoided him. My stepmom kept telling me I should go talk to him, and I kept telling her “I’m still testing him. He’s fine. I’ll talk to him when I’m ready.”

The night went well, I did eventually talk to him some, and we did have the movie night. Which also went well! He asked to hold my hand that night. And I let him. And I had a little moment of panic as I realized that I was very quickly developing feelings for this guy that I’d just met, so soon after going through the worse relationship ever. I made my panic known to him. He handled it very sweetly. Explained that he did not want to scare me off, and that he didn’t want to move too fast and make me feel rushed into anything. That he was happy to go as slow as I needed. After a good nights sleep, I woke up the next day and went to his church with him, feeling less panicked than I had been, and more okay with how things were going.

Since then, a lot has happened. You’d think, it’s been what, not quite a full two months, how can you possibly have moved much farther forward than that? Honestly, it’s a God thing. That’s all I can say. I was on the phone with my stepmom the other day, discussing plans to get engaged and married and find a house, and she says to me “Moriah, it’s amazing how things with He Who Must Not Be Named (yes, she actually calls him that, too) already seem like they happened forever ago. Joseph has just, wiped that slate completely clean, God used him to help heal your heart from that. And I can see how much better you feel about this relationship, there’s no insecurities and no wondering what he’s thinking… I love it. And I’m so happy for you!”

So, what I thought was a very rocky and depressing start to 2020, has become a really exciting and hope-filled time of new life. New dreams. Beauty and love, and learning how to trust again. I cannot wait to walk hand-in-hand with Joseph into the future that God is building for us, together.

This Guy

 

This guy I’m seeing. What can I say? He’s pursuing my heart with such gentleness and respect, I can’t recall ever feeling so valuable. It’s lovely. It’s beautiful. It’s still so new and so fresh, I’m looking forward to seeing where it all goes. But as it stands, it’s looking pretty awesome.

Fish Love 🐠 ❤️

So I was talking with one of my super awesome dude friends late last night after we had a fabulous adventure day at Carowinds Season Passholder Preview Night, and he shared a super cool thing. He gave me permission to share it with you all.

There was a Jewish man who once saw a guy eating a fish, and he said:

“Oh, enjoying that meal are you?”

and the man said, “Oh yes! I love fish!”

“You love fish? You love it so much that you killed it, skinned it, cooked it and ate it?”

So much of what we call “love” is fish love. We love something because it gives us gratification or pleasure. We don’t actually care about the well being of the person, place, or thing when we say we “love” it. What we are actually saying is that we love the feeling it gives us. If we really loved the fish, we would care for it, provide for it’s needs, give it a good place to live with fresh clean water and food. And then we would be both satisfying it’s desires and needs as well as our own, because if we really loved it, our satisfaction would be found in the act of providing for it.

You cannot separate love from Jesus. Real, true love, is the desire to provide for, satisfy, and care for the object of our affection regardless of how we feel or what we get in return. Only Jesus can sustain that type of love within us, because He is constantly pouring His selfless love into us from the moment we accept His forgiveness.

This is why so many marriages and relationships fail. We are shown through TV and movies that love is that spark, that “love at first sight” moment followed by romance, sex, and falling “madly in love”, where your passions are so strong you just can’t stay away from one another. And that is not love. That is lust. It’s the love of ourselves, our own gratification, and the feeling of being accepted and adored. Sure, it’s consensual and both parties are equally taking advantage of one another without complaint. But, a few months, a few years down the road, when desires and passions change and fade, and things start to become less like a thrilling rollercoaster ride and more like a long trudging journey uphill, suddenly “the spark is gone”, “I’m just not in love with you anymore”, and heartache, divorce, affairs… Suddenly they start seeking the feeling of “love” again elsewhere, thinking they perhaps married the wrong person, or just that “the love is gone”. No, dears. The lust is gone. The gratification is gone. And since, though you refuse to acknowledge it, you were in it for the thrill of gratification, you aren’t really interested in sticking around for the long haul. You were in it for the fish love. And well, there are plenty of fish in the sea.

Jesus doesn’t love us because we have so much to bring to the table. Actually, we bring absolutely nothing to the table. We come to the table with empty stomachs and dirty hands, hoping for a few crumbs. And Jesus cleans us up, dresses us in His own clean clothes, sits us in the seat of highest honor, and serves us humbly the best of the harvest. His satisfaction in us is to care for us. Our satisfaction in Him is to serve Him, and our joy in Him is to share His love with everyone we meet. Because why let a lost world sit in rags, begging for crumbs, when we have a Savior who longs to take us under His wing?

Is Your Purity Lost?

One Flesh, and Reflections

So, tonight as I am listening to the rain and doing some reading in scripture, I thought I’d share a recent realization I had.

I was thinking back to some memories from my childhood, and my parents, and how they used to laugh and carry on, and I said, out loud to myself, “Man, I miss them.”

My dad is still alive. I see him at least once a week. It’s my mom that I miss… right? Then I realized… My parental unit was just that, a unit. Two people, yes, but joined together by God, one flesh.

6“But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’ ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

~Mark 10: 6-9

I still have my dad, yes. But, God took my mom home. And my dad is now joined with my lovely step mom, Polly. He is the same man, but also, different, his other half has molded and changed him and they have become their own unique unit. One that I admire and enjoy, but it’s not my unit. So I do miss them. I miss my parents. Both of them. I miss what they were, and what they meant to me as I grew up. Their marriage was not perfect, they had some struggles, but almost 25 years and they were still totally in love. I remember the day my mom passed away, we saw it coming. We watched her O2 levels drop.

70%

65%

60%

and my dad leaned down and kissed my moms forehead and said “Liz, I love you, dear. I love you. Stay with me. I love you.”

To her very last breath. Till death do us part. I pray that the Lord brings me a man who will love me like that. When I have nothing to give. My mom was too ill to cook, or clean, she was not able to be sexually available for him, she was barely able to put on her own shoes. But he loved her. And he painted her nails, and shaved her legs for her so she would feel pretty and feminine even though she was unable to go anywhere. He cooked for her, and cleaned, and brushed her hair. And he never once complained. He cared for her the way Jesus cares for us, His Bride. We have nothing to offer, but He treats us like we are precious, and irriplaceable.

I sometimes have nightmares about that night. The sounds the body makes when it literally suffocates are other worldly, and horrifying, and when those nightmares come they last for several nights. But on that night, without being invited, or told what was going on, no less that 6 close friends of my family came to visit my mom. As I was being ushered out of her room so the nurses could attempt to keep her breathing, my friends were walking in. One of them, my good friend Jese, stayed the night with me. Her awesome husband brought her pjs, and she slept on my couch, let me sit numbly without talking to me and was just… there. I didn’t sleep. I just sat. And I didn’t sob. I just let the tears roll down silently. In the morning she made me gluten free pancakes and vacuumed our house, and cleaned our kitchen, all of which had fallen to ruin during the week we had spent practically living at the hospital. She also arranged for a full course Thanksgiving dinner to be cooked for us, as this all happened on Nov. 22, 2014.

Since my mom was taken home, I have seen the fruit of my suffering. God has used me to reach out to people in ways that I would not have been able to, had I not experience this pain. Empathy is such a gift. Anyone can say I’m here for you. But when someone can come along side you, and cry with you, and feel your pain with you, that is truly a gift.

Anyway, all that to say, the marriage union is truly, miraculous, and beautiful, and the best picture of Christ’s love that we can find on this earth. And that is why Satan attacks it with such vigor. Kind of eye opening, isn’t it?

~TQG

Fifty Shades

It’s almost Valentine’s Day, and that means Singles-Awareness jokes, lots of pepto-bismol pink, fluffy things, chocolate and, as TV adds, media, and probably your coworkers won’t let you forget, Fifty Shades Darker.

This post is to all my Christian followers, and those who are curious about Christian’s standards on entertainment. I will be the first to admit, I am preachy when it comes to this subject, but for today, I just want to offer some biblical advice to my Christian brothers and sisters who are curious about this series of movies/books and are trying to rationalize their way into going to see it.

I will be careful to live a blameless life—
when will you come to help me?
I will lead a life of integrity
in my own home.
I will refuse to look at
anything vile and vulgar.
I hate all who deal crookedly;
I will have nothing to do with them.
I will reject perverse ideas
and stay away from every evil.

~Psalm 101 2-4 (NLT)

But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.

~Ephesians 5:3&4 (NIV)

How can a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to your word.

~Psalm 119:9 (ESV)

Don’t tell yourself those rational-lies. Keep your way pure. Keep your heart and mind free of the sin of this world and pursue true, honest, gentle, and guiltless love. What you put in your mind effects you, fellow believers. Don’t give Satan a foothold.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.

~Philippians 4:8

Need an alternative movie night idea? Here are two great titles! Both available on DVD.

“Old-fashioned”

“Priceless” (Available Feb. 14th on DVD)

Happy Valentine’s Day! Let true love win the day!

The Best Is Yet To Come

A lot has happened since my last post…

Chiefly, the friend I went on the “Great Salsa Adventure” with is courting me now. We’ve discussed so many things and spent a lot of time talking over our pet peeves and expectations and opinions on things, it’s been amazing. And now, though he is waiting until June 2017 for God to give him assurance that we are supposed to be married, we are planning on attending pre-marital counseling to see if they can help us figure out if we’ve missed any important topics of discussion.

We take a lot of long walks and mini adventures together, spend many an evening cooking wonderful meals together and watching quirky anime shows and movies I’ve never heard of. We laugh until we can hardly breathe, tease each other, and over-all just have a fantastic time together.

All these years, praying for a Godly man, I never thought God would go so above and beyond my expectations. I feel so honored, respected and loved. And I can’t wait to see what He has in store for us as we continue our adventure together.

For those of you waiting for your knight in shining armor, stop looking. Just let him come. He won’t be what you hope for. He will be far, far greater.

Also, my Dad got remarried, moved in with his new wife, and I am living alone. Trying to find a new place to live so when the house sells, I’m not forced to move in with my stepmom’s house with her two kids. Introvert me does not want live-in siblings. 😛

Anyway, yes. Lots of changes. ^_^

~TQG